Showing posts from September, 2018

Siri is Constantly Searching "Coffee Shops Near Me"

"'I need coffee in an I.V.' -Lorelai Gilmore" -Demery Gijsbers

I consider my life to be measured along the timeline of 'Pre- and Post-Coffee Discovery.' The first time I ever drank coffee was on a camping trip with some friends. Many of these friends were big coffee fiens (see also: coffee snobs) but I had never enjoyed the taste. I didn't sleep well one night because: 1. V cold 2. No sleeping bag or pillow 3. Extreme claustrophobe in a tiny one-person tent too small to roll over in 4. Back pain 5. Frozen Toes 6. 4am wake up not by choice! Now, I don't consider myself to be a complainer OR dramatic, but it was the worst night of my whole entire existence. I was a disaster human the next morning, praying for a natural pick-me-up or a days-long nap to recover. "Cold Brew," my friends said "is smooth and delicious. Try this cup," they told me. "It'll help wake you up," they said. So I trusted them and tried it. What they…